Bullying

Bullying

Bullying is a form of abuse. It comprises repeated acts over time that involves a real or perceived imbalance of power with the more powerful individual or group abusing those who are less powerful. The power imbalance may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target.

Bullying occurs when a person or group is able to overpower a victim, causing pain and distress. It is not restricted to the playground, and operates at all levels of society and within all age groups. It is endemic in many workplaces and families. Within families, where bullying often originates, it is known as Domestic Violence.

It is estimated that half the population were bullied as children. Many adults report that childhood bullying has blighted their later lives; jobs, relationships and mental health can all suffer.
Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse - emotional, verbal and physical. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as psychological manipulation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways. Bullying in school and the workplace is also referred to as peer abuse.

Treatments

The ability to feel assertive, rather than passive or aggressive, is a way to overcome bullying, but this may be difficult. If you grew up in a family of bullies and victims it is easy to adopt one of these roles, or move between the two. Acknowledging the problem and being able to talk about it, is often the first step to ending any collusion.

You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.

You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. A trained psychotherapist/counsellor may help a victim or bully to consider healthier ways of relating and to look at issues of anger and passivity. Issues of low self-esteem, trust and confidence can also be addressed. Relationship Counselling may be useful to establish more positive patterns of thinking and to examine some unhealthy beliefs.

Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.