Bereavement

For many people, bereavement is a journey during which they'll experience a variety of changing emotions, such as intense sadness, guilt, anger and depression.

Each person’s experience is unique, for some, the strength of these emotions and the speed at which they change can make them feel helpless and confused. If the bereavement is very recent, a person can feel incapable of any decision making. Other people find that concentrating on arrangements for a funeral or memorial service helps them to delay this.

While these feelings can be frightening and overwhelming, they are normal reactions to loss. Accepting them as part of the grieving process and allowing yourself to feel what you feel is necessary for healing.

Once this intense phase has passed, there may still be a fair way to go on the journey. Again, this will happen in different ways at different times for different people.

It's not unusual to feel aimless and unable to eat concentrate or sleep and guilty about things other than actions taken or not taken by the survivor at the time of the death.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve — but there are healthy ways to cope with the pain.
Though often not easy, the most important thing in this period is to have someone you can talk to about these emotions and experiences, since keeping things to yourself will often prolong the pain. Knowing that the intense pain passes over time often helps too.

Treatments

Now is the time to lean on the people who care about you, even if you take pride in being strong and self-sufficient. You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.

You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist specializing in bereavement outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.

Grief can feel very lonely so some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. You can find bereavement support groups by contacting local counselors and psychotherapists, hospitals and hospices.