Only eight days until I attend the Another Year Film Premiere and once again meet the delightful Mike Leigh!!!
Nominated for the Palme d'Or award award at the 2010 Cannes Film Festival, a brilliant ensemble and resonant script make Another Year one of Mike Leigh's best films.
The film unfolds over four seasons, an accumulation of encounters and largely minor events that emphasize Leigh’s ingenuity in taking the essence of daily life and transforming it into something resonant and meaningful. Not too dissimilar, to the skills used by psychotherapists, like myself, to interpret their clients’ experiences and narratives in the consultation room. Following an "accumulation of encounters" I was rather excitedly chauffeur driven to the Another Year film set to advise Mike and his cast on the authenticity of this remarkable film narrative involving counselling in September 2009. See http://www.bfi.org.uk/lff/news/1192
Sunday, 10 October 2010
Saturday, 18 September 2010
Self esteem
What is self-esteem?
Some people think that self-esteem means confidence - and confidence comes into it - but it's rather more than that.
There are any number of apparently confident people who can do marvellous things but who have poor self-esteem.
Many people in the public eye fall into this category. Actors, comedians and singers in particular can glow with assurance on stage, yet off-stage feel desperately insecure.
Think of the late Princess of Wales or Marilyn Monroe and you'll see that public adulation is no guarantee of self-belief.
The word 'esteem' comes from a Latin word that means 'to estimate'. Self-esteem is how you estimate yourself.
To do that, you need to ask yourself certain questions.
Do I like myself?
Do I think I'm a good human being?
Am I someone deserving of love?
Do I deserve happiness?
Do I feel deep down that I'm an okay person?
People with low self-esteem find it hard to answer yes to these questions. Perhaps you are one of them. If so, what can you do?
How can you improve your self-esteem?
You can begin by accepting that you are certainly not alone. Masses of people have this problem.
Secondly, take on board the fact you are a wonderful, special person - and there is no one quite like you.
Not only are your fingerprints and DNA different from everyone else's (unless you have an identical twin), but your mind and how it thinks and operates is totally your own.This means that out of six billion people in the world, you are a one-off. So if nature has bothered to make you unique, don't you feel you should accept that you're important, and that you have as much right as anyone else to be on this planet?
You have other rights, too. One of them is the right to make mistakes. Don't forget that 'to err is human' and most of us learn through getting things wrong before we get them right.
Furthermore, we have the right to respect ourselves - and to be respected. Finally, and perhaps most important of all, we have the right to say yes or no for ourselves.
Put behaviour in perspective
It's not healthy to condemn ourselves because of one aspect of our behaviour.Sometimes we feel we are 'no good' because we have failed an exam or lost a job, or we have been unkind or because we are having an affair.
All of us have many aspects to our personalities, and our current behaviour is just one of those aspects.
Try not to believe that the whole of you is hopeless, unkind or a failure, when really it is just one part of your behaviour that may - or may not - be these things.
Halt destructive thoughts
Many people with poor self-esteem think they're not very important and their views carry no weight. Is this you?
If so, try to stop these destructive thoughts because if you go around believing them, you'll encourage other people to believe them too. Instead, start thinking of yourself as someone who has rights, opinions and ideas that are just as valid as anyone else's. This will help you to improve your self-esteem.
Techniques to improve self-esteem
Low self esteem feeds on negative thoughts so Don't indulge in self criticism. Why are you waging war against yourself? Get to know your negative self talk and silence your inner judge/inner critic.
You can choose to please yourself It is good to you care about other's feelings but aren't your needs just as important? Don't neglect yourself!
Don't try to be like someone else. This leads to lack of self worth and confidence. You are unique and you cannot be someone else. Strive to improve but don't criticise yourself for not being as successful, beautiful, slim or as popular as someone else.
Take life and yourself less seriously. Failure just means you are not successful YET.
Everybody fails before succeeding, don't look on it as failure but as a means to learning. Perhaps you just need a change of direction. Problems make you stronger if you strive to overcome them.
Self worth, confidence and assuredness increase when you Focus on your needs and desires. You deserve to live life as you want. This is not selfishness as what you want doesn't hurt others or prevent them from living life on their terms.
Focus on your successes. Lack of confidence feeds on your feelings of failure and inadequacy. Remember the truly successful things you have done in your life. Reward yourself when you do succeed
Use visualisation to help you achieve your dreams and increase your self esteem!
Focus on your strengths. Use them. You will succeed if you are true to yourself.
Work at achieving your goals. If you do this your confidence will increase and you will feel positive.
Accept yourself for who you are. Learn to accept the things that you cannot change and focus on the positive things about yourself. If you have a mental or physical disability, learn to accept the fact that you cannot change it, and focus on the positive aspects of yourself such as your personality, your ability to be a good friend, and your ability to love and care for others.
Associate with people who are positive and supportive. If you surround yourself with negative people, your feeling will tend to be negative. Positive, supportive friends can help to raise your self-esteem by providing a nurturing environment for you.
Focus on your positive qualities - honesty, creativeness, unselfishness, helpfulness, communication skills, and your ability to care for the welfare of others.
Learn to forgive yourself when you do not accomplish all that you set out to. Everyone falls short sometimes, but rather than focusing on the negative aspects, learn to readjust your goals so that you have a better chance of meeting them. Almost any negative experience can be turned into a positive experience with the right attitude.
10-minute technique
People with poor self-esteem often fail to give themselves enough time and space. So find 10 minutes every day to be alone, and to just sit and do nothing. Some people find it helpful to close their eyes and imagine a country scene or the sight and sound of waves gently lapping against the shore.
During this 10 minutes, allow yourself to feel peaceful and happy. Enjoy this time. It is yours - and yours alone.
Accentuate the positive
Often we make ourselves unhappy because we go over and over mistakes we have made. But we can improve our self-esteem if we re-think the things we believe we have done wrong or badly.
For example, one of my clients has to give presentations at work. He used to mentally beat himself up after every one and stew over tiny errors. Now he writes an account of each presentation shortly after he's given it. He writes about all the things that went well.
He doesn't need to write about the bad things - they will stick in his memory and he will try hard not to repeat them - but he will forget the good things unless he writes them down.
So when you have a bad day, or something goes wrong in your relationship or at work, write an account of what went right with that episode, not what went wrong.
The results will surprise you - and improve how you see yourself.
List 50 things you like about yourself
If you're seriously lacking in self-esteem this could take weeks, but persevere.
You can write down your characteristics.
You can include things about your looks.
You can even write about the things you do. For example, you may buy a copy of The Big Issue on a day when you're short of money, or you may help an elderly woman in the supermarket when you're rushing to get your own shopping done.
When you have reached your 50 good things, keep the list somewhere you can see it all the time.
Next comes the harder part. Try to record one more new thing you like about yourself every day for the rest of your life.
Getting and giving criticism One of the areas that people with low self-esteem have greatest difficulty with is criticism - giving as well as receiving it. Both can be extraordinarily difficult.
Some individuals are demolished by criticism, but it's something we can't avoid.
Criticism is often unfair, and when it is we need to counter it by calmly putting our own case across. But some criticism is justified, and when we're sensible we can learn from it.
How to deal with criticism
Often when we're criticised, we're so hurt that we start excusing ourselves and rebutting what's being said without really listening to it.
Listen to criticism without interrupting.
If there are aspects to the criticism that are valid, begin by agreeing with those points.
If parts are unclear, ask for clarification.
If you realise you were wrong, say so and apologise.
If criticism is wrong or unfair, smile and say: 'I'm afraid I don't agree with you.'
It takes a lot of practice to feel and act this way.
How to give criticism
People with poor-self esteem find it hard to dish out criticism. Many avoid promotion because they can't face the prospect of being in authority and having to criticise others.
So how can you learn to criticise when you have to?
Keep calm. Make your criticism at an appropriate time. Don't wait until you're so fed up, you're furious - you're bound to make a mess of it.
Take some deep breaths, then try a technique called the 'criticism sandwich'. This means you say something nice, then insert the criticism, then end with another positive.
Make sure you only criticise the behaviour, not the person.
An example would be: 'Your work is usually great, but it's not quite right today. I'll have to ask you to re-do that report. I know it's unlike you to get things wrong, so don't worry.'
Say I not you
You might notice that people who are fair when they criticise tend to use the word 'I' rather than the word 'you.' This is because the word I shows you're in control and that you've thought about what you're saying.
All too frequently we don't say anything initially, which is when we should address the problem. Instead, we bottle it up until we explode. Then we use the words 'you', 'you're' and 'your' all the time.
We say: 'You're incompetent; you've missed the point; your work isn't up to scratch.'
These phrases sound angry and accusatory. They also show that we're not in control. And after uttering them, we generally feel worse about ourselves and our self-esteem plummets.
How to say no
These tips are just as handy when it comes to standing up for yourself. They're useful when you want to say no without feeling guilty. Just keep calm and use the word I.
Say: 'I won't be coming to that party with you.' Or: 'I'm afraid I can't make it to tea on Saturday because I need to go shopping.' Or: 'I'm sorry, I can't work late tonight, but if you need me to, I can stay tomorrow.'
People with poor self-esteem are always getting talked into doing things they don't want to do. It must stop if you want to value yourself more.
Some people think that self-esteem means confidence - and confidence comes into it - but it's rather more than that.
There are any number of apparently confident people who can do marvellous things but who have poor self-esteem.
Many people in the public eye fall into this category. Actors, comedians and singers in particular can glow with assurance on stage, yet off-stage feel desperately insecure.
Think of the late Princess of Wales or Marilyn Monroe and you'll see that public adulation is no guarantee of self-belief.
The word 'esteem' comes from a Latin word that means 'to estimate'. Self-esteem is how you estimate yourself.
To do that, you need to ask yourself certain questions.
Do I like myself?
Do I think I'm a good human being?
Am I someone deserving of love?
Do I deserve happiness?
Do I feel deep down that I'm an okay person?
People with low self-esteem find it hard to answer yes to these questions. Perhaps you are one of them. If so, what can you do?
How can you improve your self-esteem?
You can begin by accepting that you are certainly not alone. Masses of people have this problem.
Secondly, take on board the fact you are a wonderful, special person - and there is no one quite like you.
Not only are your fingerprints and DNA different from everyone else's (unless you have an identical twin), but your mind and how it thinks and operates is totally your own.This means that out of six billion people in the world, you are a one-off. So if nature has bothered to make you unique, don't you feel you should accept that you're important, and that you have as much right as anyone else to be on this planet?
You have other rights, too. One of them is the right to make mistakes. Don't forget that 'to err is human' and most of us learn through getting things wrong before we get them right.
Furthermore, we have the right to respect ourselves - and to be respected. Finally, and perhaps most important of all, we have the right to say yes or no for ourselves.
Put behaviour in perspective
It's not healthy to condemn ourselves because of one aspect of our behaviour.Sometimes we feel we are 'no good' because we have failed an exam or lost a job, or we have been unkind or because we are having an affair.
All of us have many aspects to our personalities, and our current behaviour is just one of those aspects.
Try not to believe that the whole of you is hopeless, unkind or a failure, when really it is just one part of your behaviour that may - or may not - be these things.
Halt destructive thoughts
Many people with poor self-esteem think they're not very important and their views carry no weight. Is this you?
If so, try to stop these destructive thoughts because if you go around believing them, you'll encourage other people to believe them too. Instead, start thinking of yourself as someone who has rights, opinions and ideas that are just as valid as anyone else's. This will help you to improve your self-esteem.
Techniques to improve self-esteem
Low self esteem feeds on negative thoughts so Don't indulge in self criticism. Why are you waging war against yourself? Get to know your negative self talk and silence your inner judge/inner critic.
You can choose to please yourself It is good to you care about other's feelings but aren't your needs just as important? Don't neglect yourself!
Don't try to be like someone else. This leads to lack of self worth and confidence. You are unique and you cannot be someone else. Strive to improve but don't criticise yourself for not being as successful, beautiful, slim or as popular as someone else.
Take life and yourself less seriously. Failure just means you are not successful YET.
Everybody fails before succeeding, don't look on it as failure but as a means to learning. Perhaps you just need a change of direction. Problems make you stronger if you strive to overcome them.
Self worth, confidence and assuredness increase when you Focus on your needs and desires. You deserve to live life as you want. This is not selfishness as what you want doesn't hurt others or prevent them from living life on their terms.
Focus on your successes. Lack of confidence feeds on your feelings of failure and inadequacy. Remember the truly successful things you have done in your life. Reward yourself when you do succeed
Use visualisation to help you achieve your dreams and increase your self esteem!
Focus on your strengths. Use them. You will succeed if you are true to yourself.
Work at achieving your goals. If you do this your confidence will increase and you will feel positive.
Accept yourself for who you are. Learn to accept the things that you cannot change and focus on the positive things about yourself. If you have a mental or physical disability, learn to accept the fact that you cannot change it, and focus on the positive aspects of yourself such as your personality, your ability to be a good friend, and your ability to love and care for others.
Associate with people who are positive and supportive. If you surround yourself with negative people, your feeling will tend to be negative. Positive, supportive friends can help to raise your self-esteem by providing a nurturing environment for you.
Focus on your positive qualities - honesty, creativeness, unselfishness, helpfulness, communication skills, and your ability to care for the welfare of others.
Learn to forgive yourself when you do not accomplish all that you set out to. Everyone falls short sometimes, but rather than focusing on the negative aspects, learn to readjust your goals so that you have a better chance of meeting them. Almost any negative experience can be turned into a positive experience with the right attitude.
10-minute technique
People with poor self-esteem often fail to give themselves enough time and space. So find 10 minutes every day to be alone, and to just sit and do nothing. Some people find it helpful to close their eyes and imagine a country scene or the sight and sound of waves gently lapping against the shore.
During this 10 minutes, allow yourself to feel peaceful and happy. Enjoy this time. It is yours - and yours alone.
Accentuate the positive
Often we make ourselves unhappy because we go over and over mistakes we have made. But we can improve our self-esteem if we re-think the things we believe we have done wrong or badly.
For example, one of my clients has to give presentations at work. He used to mentally beat himself up after every one and stew over tiny errors. Now he writes an account of each presentation shortly after he's given it. He writes about all the things that went well.
He doesn't need to write about the bad things - they will stick in his memory and he will try hard not to repeat them - but he will forget the good things unless he writes them down.
So when you have a bad day, or something goes wrong in your relationship or at work, write an account of what went right with that episode, not what went wrong.
The results will surprise you - and improve how you see yourself.
List 50 things you like about yourself
If you're seriously lacking in self-esteem this could take weeks, but persevere.
You can write down your characteristics.
You can include things about your looks.
You can even write about the things you do. For example, you may buy a copy of The Big Issue on a day when you're short of money, or you may help an elderly woman in the supermarket when you're rushing to get your own shopping done.
When you have reached your 50 good things, keep the list somewhere you can see it all the time.
Next comes the harder part. Try to record one more new thing you like about yourself every day for the rest of your life.
Getting and giving criticism One of the areas that people with low self-esteem have greatest difficulty with is criticism - giving as well as receiving it. Both can be extraordinarily difficult.
Some individuals are demolished by criticism, but it's something we can't avoid.
Criticism is often unfair, and when it is we need to counter it by calmly putting our own case across. But some criticism is justified, and when we're sensible we can learn from it.
How to deal with criticism
Often when we're criticised, we're so hurt that we start excusing ourselves and rebutting what's being said without really listening to it.
Listen to criticism without interrupting.
If there are aspects to the criticism that are valid, begin by agreeing with those points.
If parts are unclear, ask for clarification.
If you realise you were wrong, say so and apologise.
If criticism is wrong or unfair, smile and say: 'I'm afraid I don't agree with you.'
It takes a lot of practice to feel and act this way.
How to give criticism
People with poor-self esteem find it hard to dish out criticism. Many avoid promotion because they can't face the prospect of being in authority and having to criticise others.
So how can you learn to criticise when you have to?
Keep calm. Make your criticism at an appropriate time. Don't wait until you're so fed up, you're furious - you're bound to make a mess of it.
Take some deep breaths, then try a technique called the 'criticism sandwich'. This means you say something nice, then insert the criticism, then end with another positive.
Make sure you only criticise the behaviour, not the person.
An example would be: 'Your work is usually great, but it's not quite right today. I'll have to ask you to re-do that report. I know it's unlike you to get things wrong, so don't worry.'
Say I not you
You might notice that people who are fair when they criticise tend to use the word 'I' rather than the word 'you.' This is because the word I shows you're in control and that you've thought about what you're saying.
All too frequently we don't say anything initially, which is when we should address the problem. Instead, we bottle it up until we explode. Then we use the words 'you', 'you're' and 'your' all the time.
We say: 'You're incompetent; you've missed the point; your work isn't up to scratch.'
These phrases sound angry and accusatory. They also show that we're not in control. And after uttering them, we generally feel worse about ourselves and our self-esteem plummets.
How to say no
These tips are just as handy when it comes to standing up for yourself. They're useful when you want to say no without feeling guilty. Just keep calm and use the word I.
Say: 'I won't be coming to that party with you.' Or: 'I'm afraid I can't make it to tea on Saturday because I need to go shopping.' Or: 'I'm sorry, I can't work late tonight, but if you need me to, I can stay tomorrow.'
People with poor self-esteem are always getting talked into doing things they don't want to do. It must stop if you want to value yourself more.
Monday, 30 August 2010
Sorry I’ve been off line. I spent most of August camping in Muker, Swaledale. Breathtaking scenery and an absolute pleasure to wake up every morning listening to a trickling stream at the back of the tent not to mention an abundance of wet chocolate labradors, cream teas and home made savoury pies yum!!!
Also been reading the recently published screw work let’s play book by John Williams http://www.screwworkletsplay.com/. Highly inspirational especially for those of you considering escaping the corporate world, changing career path or entering the world of self employment. The book includes many interesting stories about people who have turned their passions into their living. It made me realise how enormously passionate and enthusiastic I am about the psychotherapy profession and how fortunate I am to have found my true vocation. I know this because my work as a psychotherapist and consultant is always a pleasure and never a chore hence why I’m writing this blog on Bank Holiday Monday. Get a life!!!!
Also been reading the recently published screw work let’s play book by John Williams http://www.screwworkletsplay.com/. Highly inspirational especially for those of you considering escaping the corporate world, changing career path or entering the world of self employment. The book includes many interesting stories about people who have turned their passions into their living. It made me realise how enormously passionate and enthusiastic I am about the psychotherapy profession and how fortunate I am to have found my true vocation. I know this because my work as a psychotherapist and consultant is always a pleasure and never a chore hence why I’m writing this blog on Bank Holiday Monday. Get a life!!!!
Friday, 30 July 2010
Work Life Balance
Work Life Balance
Work, life, kids and commitments - it's tough to juggle it all, leaving many of us feeling we haven't got the right work/life balance. Perhaps you're not getting enough time with your kids; you haven't even got the time to listen to your favourite tunes; or you want a new challenge in your life. You don't need to go the whole hog and jack in your job, although after thinking about it, you might decide to!
A few small changes can lead to big differences, banishing that fed up feeling and helping you to feel fulfilled.
The term work/life balance was first coined in the 1980s when people began to recognise that while work is an important part of life, it shouldn't dominate people's family and personal life, and that a happy worker is a productive worker.
The rising cost of living and an increasingly consumer society means that people are more driven to earn.
Supporting a family is more costly than ever with children becoming major consumers.
We work longer hours. UK workers work the longest hours in Europe, employers often insist their staff opt out of the Working Time Directive to work more than 48 hours a week and many companies have a culture of overtime.
Working patterns have changed as service industries have moved towards 24-hour services.
People travel further to get to work, and journey times have increased significantly.
More mothers go back to work and over two thirds of families now have both parents working outside the home which puts a strain on managing childcare.
This all combines to make many of us feel that our leisure time and interests have become a low priority. However, it is possible to change things and to take control back to get the right work life balance.
Strategies
Want to improve your work life balance?
Then consider these simple tips:
Remain confident in your abilities and your worth and realise that you have the power to change how you feel about your life.
Get away
Get qualified Get a new hobby
Change your job or your life
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy and counselling are working relationships in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Work, life, kids and commitments - it's tough to juggle it all, leaving many of us feeling we haven't got the right work/life balance. Perhaps you're not getting enough time with your kids; you haven't even got the time to listen to your favourite tunes; or you want a new challenge in your life. You don't need to go the whole hog and jack in your job, although after thinking about it, you might decide to!
A few small changes can lead to big differences, banishing that fed up feeling and helping you to feel fulfilled.
The term work/life balance was first coined in the 1980s when people began to recognise that while work is an important part of life, it shouldn't dominate people's family and personal life, and that a happy worker is a productive worker.
The rising cost of living and an increasingly consumer society means that people are more driven to earn.
Supporting a family is more costly than ever with children becoming major consumers.
We work longer hours. UK workers work the longest hours in Europe, employers often insist their staff opt out of the Working Time Directive to work more than 48 hours a week and many companies have a culture of overtime.
Working patterns have changed as service industries have moved towards 24-hour services.
People travel further to get to work, and journey times have increased significantly.
More mothers go back to work and over two thirds of families now have both parents working outside the home which puts a strain on managing childcare.
This all combines to make many of us feel that our leisure time and interests have become a low priority. However, it is possible to change things and to take control back to get the right work life balance.
Strategies
Want to improve your work life balance?
Then consider these simple tips:
Remain confident in your abilities and your worth and realise that you have the power to change how you feel about your life.
Get away
Get qualified Get a new hobby
Change your job or your life
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy and counselling are working relationships in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Benefits of Counselling and Psychotherapy
What benefits can you expect?
It can offer a supportive and caring relationship in which you can explore any issues at your own pace
It can help you see difficulties more objectively
It can build your self esteem
It can be a growing process whereby unwanted feelings can be changed
It can promote a better quality of life and health
You are accepted for who you are
Give you a greater sense of well being
Develop your capacity to make better choices
Increased personal success and contentment
It can offer a supportive and caring relationship in which you can explore any issues at your own pace
It can help you see difficulties more objectively
It can build your self esteem
It can be a growing process whereby unwanted feelings can be changed
It can promote a better quality of life and health
You are accepted for who you are
Give you a greater sense of well being
Develop your capacity to make better choices
Increased personal success and contentment
Being an only child
Being an only Child
Only children are often stigmatized. When asked to describe personality characteristics of an only child, many people will respond negatively, indicating the presupposition that only children are spoiled brats. Because only children lack siblings, they lose the immediate availability of others near their own age with whom to interact socially. In order to develop normal social skills, only children must be exposed to other children of the same age through other means. For example, play groups can be valuable for the learning of social skills. However, only children must work to win friends because they have no guaranteed familial playmates.
As children, most "onlies" wanted more children to play with and were fascinated by larger families. Very few rebelled in their teenage years.
The intensity of the child/parent relationship, its potential invasiveness and lack of privacy has often led to feelings being locked inside.
As adults, many have difficulty now expressing deep feelings in close relationships. Despite the independent image, they are still emotionally dependent on parents, or their memory.
Treatments
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may be an only child themselves or know someone else who is and has similar difficulties.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Self help tools can enable you to continue to function more effectively and confidently. For example, teach yourself books and DVDs. (see http://www.beinganonly.com/beinganonly)
Only children are often stigmatized. When asked to describe personality characteristics of an only child, many people will respond negatively, indicating the presupposition that only children are spoiled brats. Because only children lack siblings, they lose the immediate availability of others near their own age with whom to interact socially. In order to develop normal social skills, only children must be exposed to other children of the same age through other means. For example, play groups can be valuable for the learning of social skills. However, only children must work to win friends because they have no guaranteed familial playmates.
As children, most "onlies" wanted more children to play with and were fascinated by larger families. Very few rebelled in their teenage years.
The intensity of the child/parent relationship, its potential invasiveness and lack of privacy has often led to feelings being locked inside.
As adults, many have difficulty now expressing deep feelings in close relationships. Despite the independent image, they are still emotionally dependent on parents, or their memory.
Treatments
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may be an only child themselves or know someone else who is and has similar difficulties.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Self help tools can enable you to continue to function more effectively and confidently. For example, teach yourself books and DVDs. (see http://www.beinganonly.com/beinganonly)
Suicide
Suicide
Suicide is the term used for the deliberate self-destruction by a living being, resulting in their own death. The factors that lead someone to take their own life are complex. There is rarely one single trigger, although there may be an important 'last straw'.
Suicide actions are typically characterised as being made out of despair, or attributed to some underlying mental disorder which includes depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, alcoholism and drug abuse. The final straw may be the end of an important relationship, having to face up to debt or a court case, or losing ones home, or simply an event that stirs the emotions.
Suicidal ideation is a common medical term for thoughts about suicide, which may be as detailed as a formulated plan, without the suicidal act itself. Although most people who undergo suicidal ideation do not commit suicide, some go on to make suicide attempts. The range of suicidal ideation varies greatly from fleeting to detailed planning, role playing and unsuccessful attempts, which may be deliberately constructed to fail or be discovered, or may be fully intended to succeed.
Treatments
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. By undertaking counselling, suicidal clients often discover in their states of despair that it is their actual feelings not themselves that they wish to kill. Psychotherapy and counselling are working relationships in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Samaritans provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which could lead to suicide. (http://www.samaritans.org)
Antidepressants can help but often take two to four weeks to work and may have side effects.
Relaxation exercises, laughter and all forms of meditation are helpful in reducing stress. By focusing on positive issues and removing all negative thoughts from your mind for a fixed period, you will soon see a big difference.
Suicide is the term used for the deliberate self-destruction by a living being, resulting in their own death. The factors that lead someone to take their own life are complex. There is rarely one single trigger, although there may be an important 'last straw'.
Suicide actions are typically characterised as being made out of despair, or attributed to some underlying mental disorder which includes depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, alcoholism and drug abuse. The final straw may be the end of an important relationship, having to face up to debt or a court case, or losing ones home, or simply an event that stirs the emotions.
Suicidal ideation is a common medical term for thoughts about suicide, which may be as detailed as a formulated plan, without the suicidal act itself. Although most people who undergo suicidal ideation do not commit suicide, some go on to make suicide attempts. The range of suicidal ideation varies greatly from fleeting to detailed planning, role playing and unsuccessful attempts, which may be deliberately constructed to fail or be discovered, or may be fully intended to succeed.
Treatments
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. By undertaking counselling, suicidal clients often discover in their states of despair that it is their actual feelings not themselves that they wish to kill. Psychotherapy and counselling are working relationships in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Samaritans provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which could lead to suicide. (http://www.samaritans.org)
Antidepressants can help but often take two to four weeks to work and may have side effects.
Relaxation exercises, laughter and all forms of meditation are helpful in reducing stress. By focusing on positive issues and removing all negative thoughts from your mind for a fixed period, you will soon see a big difference.
Bullying
Bullying
Bullying is a form of abuse. It comprises repeated acts over time that involves a real or perceived imbalance of power with the more powerful individual or group abusing those who are less powerful. The power imbalance may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target.
Bullying occurs when a person or group is able to overpower a victim, causing pain and distress. It is not restricted to the playground, and operates at all levels of society and within all age groups. It is endemic in many workplaces and families. Within families, where bullying often originates, it is known as Domestic Violence.
It is estimated that half the population were bullied as children. Many adults report that childhood bullying has blighted their later lives; jobs, relationships and mental health can all suffer.
Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse - emotional, verbal and physical. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as psychological manipulation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways. Bullying in school and the workplace is also referred to as peer abuse.
Treatments
The ability to feel assertive, rather than passive or aggressive, is a way to overcome bullying, but this may be difficult. If you grew up in a family of bullies and victims it is easy to adopt one of these roles, or move between the two. Acknowledging the problem and being able to talk about it, is often the first step to ending any collusion.
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. A trained psychotherapist/counsellor may help a victim or bully to consider healthier ways of relating and to look at issues of anger and passivity. Issues of low self-esteem, trust and confidence can also be addressed. Relationship Counselling may be useful to establish more positive patterns of thinking and to examine some unhealthy beliefs.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Bullying is a form of abuse. It comprises repeated acts over time that involves a real or perceived imbalance of power with the more powerful individual or group abusing those who are less powerful. The power imbalance may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target.
Bullying occurs when a person or group is able to overpower a victim, causing pain and distress. It is not restricted to the playground, and operates at all levels of society and within all age groups. It is endemic in many workplaces and families. Within families, where bullying often originates, it is known as Domestic Violence.
It is estimated that half the population were bullied as children. Many adults report that childhood bullying has blighted their later lives; jobs, relationships and mental health can all suffer.
Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse - emotional, verbal and physical. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as psychological manipulation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways. Bullying in school and the workplace is also referred to as peer abuse.
Treatments
The ability to feel assertive, rather than passive or aggressive, is a way to overcome bullying, but this may be difficult. If you grew up in a family of bullies and victims it is easy to adopt one of these roles, or move between the two. Acknowledging the problem and being able to talk about it, is often the first step to ending any collusion.
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. A trained psychotherapist/counsellor may help a victim or bully to consider healthier ways of relating and to look at issues of anger and passivity. Issues of low self-esteem, trust and confidence can also be addressed. Relationship Counselling may be useful to establish more positive patterns of thinking and to examine some unhealthy beliefs.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Stress
Stress
Everyone needs a certain amount of stress to live well. It's what gets you out of bed in the morning and gives you the vitality and zest to do all sorts of things, such as sport and presentations. Stress becomes a problem - 'distress' - when there's too much or too little. A lack of stress means your body is understimulated, leaving you feeling bored and isolated. In an effort to find stimulation, many people do things that are harmful to themselves (such as taking drugs) or society (for instance, committing a crime).
Too much stress, on the other hand, can result in a range of health problems including headaches, stomach upsets, high blood pressure and even stroke or heart disease. It can also cause feelings of distrust, anger, anxiety and fear, which in turn can destroy relationships at home and at work.
People often feel over-stressed as a result of some event or trigger. This doesn't have to be negative (such as the death of a loved one, redundancy or divorce); it can also be seemingly positive (a new partner, new job or going on holiday). Such feelings can also be acute (as the result of a death or loss of a job) or chronic (coping with long-term unemployment or being in a bad relationship).
Strategies
I
n order to cope with their stress, many people look to things that are not only ineffective but also unhealthy.
Negative stress-management techniques include:
Drinking alcohol
Denying the problem
Taking drugs
Overeating
Smoking cigarettes
Instead of these harmful techniques, why not try one of the following:
Take a nap - 30 to 40 minutes' downtime will recharge your batteries.
Get a massage - visit a professional massage therapist or ask a friend or partner.
Express yourself artistically - divert your energies into something creative, such as acting, playing an instrument, writing poetry or singing.
Have a laugh - not only will it make you feel better, it will make you look better too.
Be gentle to yourself - we talk to ourselves all the time, even though we're not aware of it. This 'self-talk' determines our attitudes and self-image, so try to change both with a bit of positive chatter.
Treatments
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Antidepressants can help but often take two to four weeks to work and may have side effects.
Relaxation exercises, laughter and all forms of meditation are helpful in reducing stress. By focusing on positive issues and removing all negative thoughts from your mind for a fixed period, you will soon see a big difference
Self help tools can enable you to continue to function more effectively and confidently. For example, teach yourself books and DVDs.
Everyone needs a certain amount of stress to live well. It's what gets you out of bed in the morning and gives you the vitality and zest to do all sorts of things, such as sport and presentations. Stress becomes a problem - 'distress' - when there's too much or too little. A lack of stress means your body is understimulated, leaving you feeling bored and isolated. In an effort to find stimulation, many people do things that are harmful to themselves (such as taking drugs) or society (for instance, committing a crime).
Too much stress, on the other hand, can result in a range of health problems including headaches, stomach upsets, high blood pressure and even stroke or heart disease. It can also cause feelings of distrust, anger, anxiety and fear, which in turn can destroy relationships at home and at work.
People often feel over-stressed as a result of some event or trigger. This doesn't have to be negative (such as the death of a loved one, redundancy or divorce); it can also be seemingly positive (a new partner, new job or going on holiday). Such feelings can also be acute (as the result of a death or loss of a job) or chronic (coping with long-term unemployment or being in a bad relationship).
Strategies
I
n order to cope with their stress, many people look to things that are not only ineffective but also unhealthy.
Negative stress-management techniques include:
Drinking alcohol
Denying the problem
Taking drugs
Overeating
Smoking cigarettes
Instead of these harmful techniques, why not try one of the following:
Take a nap - 30 to 40 minutes' downtime will recharge your batteries.
Get a massage - visit a professional massage therapist or ask a friend or partner.
Express yourself artistically - divert your energies into something creative, such as acting, playing an instrument, writing poetry or singing.
Have a laugh - not only will it make you feel better, it will make you look better too.
Be gentle to yourself - we talk to ourselves all the time, even though we're not aware of it. This 'self-talk' determines our attitudes and self-image, so try to change both with a bit of positive chatter.
Treatments
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Antidepressants can help but often take two to four weeks to work and may have side effects.
Relaxation exercises, laughter and all forms of meditation are helpful in reducing stress. By focusing on positive issues and removing all negative thoughts from your mind for a fixed period, you will soon see a big difference
Self help tools can enable you to continue to function more effectively and confidently. For example, teach yourself books and DVDs.
Bereavement
For many people, bereavement is a journey during which they'll experience a variety of changing emotions, such as intense sadness, guilt, anger and depression.
Each person’s experience is unique, for some, the strength of these emotions and the speed at which they change can make them feel helpless and confused. If the bereavement is very recent, a person can feel incapable of any decision making. Other people find that concentrating on arrangements for a funeral or memorial service helps them to delay this.
While these feelings can be frightening and overwhelming, they are normal reactions to loss. Accepting them as part of the grieving process and allowing yourself to feel what you feel is necessary for healing.
Once this intense phase has passed, there may still be a fair way to go on the journey. Again, this will happen in different ways at different times for different people.
It's not unusual to feel aimless and unable to eat concentrate or sleep and guilty about things other than actions taken or not taken by the survivor at the time of the death.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve — but there are healthy ways to cope with the pain.
Though often not easy, the most important thing in this period is to have someone you can talk to about these emotions and experiences, since keeping things to yourself will often prolong the pain. Knowing that the intense pain passes over time often helps too.
Treatments
Now is the time to lean on the people who care about you, even if you take pride in being strong and self-sufficient. You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist specializing in bereavement outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Grief can feel very lonely so some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. You can find bereavement support groups by contacting local counselors and psychotherapists, hospitals and hospices.
For many people, bereavement is a journey during which they'll experience a variety of changing emotions, such as intense sadness, guilt, anger and depression.
Each person’s experience is unique, for some, the strength of these emotions and the speed at which they change can make them feel helpless and confused. If the bereavement is very recent, a person can feel incapable of any decision making. Other people find that concentrating on arrangements for a funeral or memorial service helps them to delay this.
While these feelings can be frightening and overwhelming, they are normal reactions to loss. Accepting them as part of the grieving process and allowing yourself to feel what you feel is necessary for healing.
Once this intense phase has passed, there may still be a fair way to go on the journey. Again, this will happen in different ways at different times for different people.
It's not unusual to feel aimless and unable to eat concentrate or sleep and guilty about things other than actions taken or not taken by the survivor at the time of the death.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve — but there are healthy ways to cope with the pain.
Though often not easy, the most important thing in this period is to have someone you can talk to about these emotions and experiences, since keeping things to yourself will often prolong the pain. Knowing that the intense pain passes over time often helps too.
Treatments
Now is the time to lean on the people who care about you, even if you take pride in being strong and self-sufficient. You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist specializing in bereavement outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Grief can feel very lonely so some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. You can find bereavement support groups by contacting local counselors and psychotherapists, hospitals and hospices.
Cancer
Cancer
One in three people will be affected by cancer at some stage in their life.
Having cancer can give rise to a whole range of strong emotions - shock, fear, anger, bitterness, confusion and depression. These emotions may be caused by:
Uncertainty about the future, such as not knowing what is going to happen or whether the cancer can be cured.
Unfamiliarity with hospitals, healthcare professionals and treatments - this can make a person feel less in control.
Social Isolation - when people are ill they may not see their usual friends or work colleagues. This may make them feel more isolated at a time when they need people around them.
For a person with cancer, talking about their fears and concerns can go a long way to helping reduce anxiety.
Treatments
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
In addition to recommending that you speak to a psychotherapist, your GP will refer you to a hospital team which specialises in the diagnosis and treatment of your type of cancer. This is known as a multidisciplinary team. It’s usually led by a consultant surgeon or oncologist who will have overall responsibility for your care. Your multidisciplinary team may include:
Surgeons - doctors who are experienced in a particular type of surgery such as breast surgery or gastrointestinal surgery.
Oncologists – doctors who have experience in cancer treatment using chemotherapy, radiotherapy, hormonal and biological therapy.
Radiologists – who help to read scans and x-rays and report on them.
Therapy Radiographers – who are responsible for giving radiotherapy treatment. They work closely with clinical oncologists in planning treatment. You'll see a radiographer every time you attend a radiotherapy treatment, and they'll be able to give you advice and support during your treatment.
Pathologists – who advise on the type and extent of your cancer
Specialist nurses – who provide information and support for cancer patients and their families. These specialist nurses are a useful point of contact at the hospital.
Other staff – you may also see dieticians, occupational therapists, physiotherapists, counsellors and social workers. Some of these health care professionals have teams that work in the community as well, so can visit you in your own home.
Dieticians and Nutritionists – advise on all aspects of dietary problems that people with cancer may experience during their treatment. They are able to assess the food needs of people with cancer, advise on which foods are best and whether any food supplements would be helpful.
Physiotherapists – can help you regain your muscle strength after surgery and advise you on appropriate exercises to improve your energy, strength, mobility, coordination and balance.
Counsellors and psychologists – some people need more than advice and support. You may find that the impact of cancer leads to depression, feelings of helpless ness and anxiety. Counsellors are trained to listen and help people talk through their problems.
Clinical psychologists are trained to understand what people think and feel, and how they behave, particularly in stressful situations, such as coping with cancer.
Social workers – can arrange for you to have help at home with chores such as cleaning and personal care. You may have to pay for these services yourself depending on your savings or income. Social workers can also give you information about any benefits you may be able to claim such as attendance allowance or disability living allowance or help with hospital fares.
Occupational therapists – can assess whether you need adaptations or extra equipment (such as a shower seat, raised toilet seat, handrails, or stairlift) that will make it easier for you to manage at home.
Cancer information staff – many cancer centres have staff members who can provide information and support about cancer, its treatments and side effects, and any other issues that may arise for patients and their families.
Cancer Support Organisations
Cancer Aid and Listening Line (CALL)
Emotional support and home-based practical help for people living with cancer, their carers and families.
Helpline: 0845 123 2329
Website: www.canceraid.co.uk
Cancerbackup
Practical advice and support for patients, families, carers and friends.
Helpline: 0808 800 1234
Website: www.cancerbackup.org.uk
Cancer Chat
An online forum for people affected by cancer to share information and experiences, provided by Cancer Research.
Website: www.cancerchat.org.uk
Cancer Counselling Trust
Offers counselling from trained therapists for people affected by cancer.
Tel: 020 7843 2292
Email: support@cctrust.org.uk
Website: www.cancercounselling.org.uk
CancerHelp UK
Free information service about cancer and cancer care, provided by Cancer Research UK.
Helpline: 0808 800 4040
Website: www.cancerhelp.org.uk
Cancer Research UK
Researches the causes, prevention and treatment of cancer.
Tel: 020 7242 0200
Website: www.cancerresearchuk.org
Cancer Vaccine Institute
Funds research to develop vaccines to help patients live longer.
Tel: 0845 602 0662
Website: www.cancervaccine.org.uk
Chai Cancer Care
Offers physical, emotional and spiritual support to Jewish cancer patients, their families and friends.
Helpline: 0808 808 4567
Website: www.chaicancercare.org
Cruse Bereavement Care
Help for bereaved people, whatever their age, nationality or beliefs, including a free counselling service.
Helpline: 0844 477 9400
Email: helpine@cruse.org.uk
Website: www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk
Hospice Information
Provide information to the public and professionals on hospice and palliative care in the UK and internationally
Tel: 020 7520 8222
Email: info@helpthehospices.org.uk
Website: www.helpthehospices.org.uk/hospiceinformation
Macmillan Cancer Support
Services include Macmillan nurses and doctors, cancer centres and financial help.
CancerLine: 0808 808 2020
Email: cancerline@macmillan.org.uk
Youth Line: 0808 808 0800
Email: youthline@macmillan.org.uk
Website: www.macmillan.org.uk
Marie Curie Cancer Care
Runs a nationwide network of nurses providing free hands-on palliative care in patients' homes.
Helpline: 020 7599 7777
Website: www.mariecurie.org.uk
New Approaches to Cancer
Promotes the benefits of complementary therapies and holistic treatment for cancer patients and their carers. Provides an information and referral service.
Tel: 0800 389 2662
Email: help@anac.org.uk
Website: www.newapproaches.co.uk
Sue Ryder Care
Cares for people with life-shortening illnesses through specialist hospice care services.
Tel: 020 7400 0440
Website: www.suerydercare.org
Tenovus Cancer Information Centre
Funds support and counselling services for cancer patients and their families through a team of nurses, counsellors and social workers.
Helpline: 0808 808 1010
Website: www.tenovus.com
Cancer Buddies Network
A registered charity enabling patients, carers, or family and friends affected by cancer to make contact.
Email: enquiry@cancerbuddiesnetwork.org
Website:www.cancerbuddiesnetwork.org
Christian Lewis Trust
Grants, respite care, local support groups, continuing care nurses, social workers and play therapists for children with cancer.
Tel: 01792 480500
Email: enquiries@christianlewistrust.org
Website: www.christianlewistrust.org
CLIC Sargent
Practical financial help, holiday breaks and emotional support for children and young people with cancer, and their families.
Helpline: 0800 197 0068
Email: helpline@clicsargent.org.uk
Website: www.clicsargent.org.uk
The Compassionate Friends
An organisation of bereaved parents and their families offering understanding, support and encouragement after the death of a child.
Helpline: 0845 123 2304
Email: helpline@tcf.org.uk
Website: www.tcf.org.uk
Eating Disorders
Anorexia nervosa
The main symptom is the relentless pursuit of thinness through self-starvation. This may become so extreme that it is life-threatening. It most frequently affects young women, but anorexia is found among both sexes of all ages, and across social and ethnic groups.
Some of the signs are:
Severe weight loss
Distortions and misconceptions about weight and body size
Obsession with food and calories
Preoccupation with self-control
Excessive exercising
Isolation, loss of friends
Emotional, irritable behaviour
Secret vomiting/purging
Disruption/cessation of menstrual periods
Bulimia nervosa
This condition is characterised by overeating followed by self-induced vomiting and sometimes purging with laxatives. It can develop at any age, although it often follows an episode of anorexia. Bulimia can have serious long-term physical consequences, such as damage to the stomach, tooth enamel and vocal cords.
Some of the signs include:
Binge-eating large amounts of food
Obsession with food and calories
Vomiting and purging
Often disappearing to the lavatory after meals
Secretive behaviour
Feeling out of control
Disrupted menstrual periods
Very low self-esteem
Treatments
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
In addition to talking to a psychotherapist you may also benefit from contacting your family doctor, a psychiatrist and a dietician who often work together as a multidisciplinary team on a specialised eating disorders unit.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Self help tools can enable you to continue to function more effectively and confidently. For example, teach yourself books and DVDs.
The main symptom is the relentless pursuit of thinness through self-starvation. This may become so extreme that it is life-threatening. It most frequently affects young women, but anorexia is found among both sexes of all ages, and across social and ethnic groups.
Some of the signs are:
Severe weight loss
Distortions and misconceptions about weight and body size
Obsession with food and calories
Preoccupation with self-control
Excessive exercising
Isolation, loss of friends
Emotional, irritable behaviour
Secret vomiting/purging
Disruption/cessation of menstrual periods
Bulimia nervosa
This condition is characterised by overeating followed by self-induced vomiting and sometimes purging with laxatives. It can develop at any age, although it often follows an episode of anorexia. Bulimia can have serious long-term physical consequences, such as damage to the stomach, tooth enamel and vocal cords.
Some of the signs include:
Binge-eating large amounts of food
Obsession with food and calories
Vomiting and purging
Often disappearing to the lavatory after meals
Secretive behaviour
Feeling out of control
Disrupted menstrual periods
Very low self-esteem
Treatments
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
In addition to talking to a psychotherapist you may also benefit from contacting your family doctor, a psychiatrist and a dietician who often work together as a multidisciplinary team on a specialised eating disorders unit.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Self help tools can enable you to continue to function more effectively and confidently. For example, teach yourself books and DVDs.
Phobias
Phobias
Phobias are intense and persistent fears of certain situations or activities that are not dangerous and which most people do not experience to be troublesome.
Symptoms
A phobia is strong feeling of anxiety in situations that frighten you. For example, if you have a phobia of snakes, you feel anxious when there are snakes around, but feel fine at other times.
You tend to avoid the situations that make you anxious - but this makes the phobia worse as time goes on.
Your life gets taken over by the things you have to do to avoid such situations.
You realise that there is no real danger and may even feel silly about your phobia, but still can't control it.
Anxiety and panic are often accompanied by feelings of depression, losing your appetite, or seeing the future as bleak and hopeless.
Treatments
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Antidepressants can help but often take two to four weeks to work and may have side effects.
Relaxation exercises, laughter and all forms of meditation are helpful in reducing stress. By focusing on positive issues and removing all negative thoughts from your mind for a fixed period, you will soon see a big difference
Self help tools can enable you to continue to function more effectively and confidently. For example, teach yourself books and DVDs.
Phobias are intense and persistent fears of certain situations or activities that are not dangerous and which most people do not experience to be troublesome.
Symptoms
A phobia is strong feeling of anxiety in situations that frighten you. For example, if you have a phobia of snakes, you feel anxious when there are snakes around, but feel fine at other times.
You tend to avoid the situations that make you anxious - but this makes the phobia worse as time goes on.
Your life gets taken over by the things you have to do to avoid such situations.
You realise that there is no real danger and may even feel silly about your phobia, but still can't control it.
Anxiety and panic are often accompanied by feelings of depression, losing your appetite, or seeing the future as bleak and hopeless.
Treatments
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Antidepressants can help but often take two to four weeks to work and may have side effects.
Relaxation exercises, laughter and all forms of meditation are helpful in reducing stress. By focusing on positive issues and removing all negative thoughts from your mind for a fixed period, you will soon see a big difference
Self help tools can enable you to continue to function more effectively and confidently. For example, teach yourself books and DVDs.
Panic attacks
Panic
Panic is defined as a sudden unexpected surge of anxiety which makes you want to leave the worrying situation.
Symptoms
Sudden and overwhelming fear and sense of loss of control
Breathing quickly
Increased pounding heartbeat
Sweating
With a bad panic attack, you may feel that you are going to die
Treatments
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Antidepressants can help but often take two to four weeks to work and may have side effects.
Relaxation exercises, laughter and all forms of meditation are helpful in reducing stress. By focusing on positive issues and removing all negative thoughts from your mind for a fixed period, you will soon see a big difference.
Self help tools can enable you to continue to function more effectively and confidently. For example, teach yourself books and DVDs.
Panic is defined as a sudden unexpected surge of anxiety which makes you want to leave the worrying situation.
Symptoms
Sudden and overwhelming fear and sense of loss of control
Breathing quickly
Increased pounding heartbeat
Sweating
With a bad panic attack, you may feel that you are going to die
Treatments
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Antidepressants can help but often take two to four weeks to work and may have side effects.
Relaxation exercises, laughter and all forms of meditation are helpful in reducing stress. By focusing on positive issues and removing all negative thoughts from your mind for a fixed period, you will soon see a big difference.
Self help tools can enable you to continue to function more effectively and confidently. For example, teach yourself books and DVDs.
Anxiety
Anxiety
Anxiety is the feeling of fear we all experience when faced with threatening or difficult situations. It helps us to avoid dangerous situations, makes us alert and motivates us to deal with problems. When these feelings become too strong they can stop us from doing the things we want to.
Symptoms
Feeling worried all the time
Tiredness
Irritability
Unable to sleep
Difficulty concentrating
Racing heartbeat
Sweating
Muscle tension and pains
Shaking
Breathing heavily
Feeling dizzy or faint
Indigestion or diarrhoea
If you are anxious already, the physical symptoms can make you worry they are signs of a serious illness. This can make you even more anxious. Anxiety and panic are often accompanied by feelings of depression, losing your appetite, or seeing the future as bleak and hopeless.
Treatments
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Antidepressants can help but often take two to four weeks to work and may have side effects.
Relaxation exercises, laughter and all forms of meditation are helpful in reducing stress. By focusing on positive issues and removing all negative thoughts from your mind for a fixed period, you will soon see a big difference
Self help tools can enable you to continue to function more effectively and confidently. For example, teach yourself books and DVDs.
Anxiety is the feeling of fear we all experience when faced with threatening or difficult situations. It helps us to avoid dangerous situations, makes us alert and motivates us to deal with problems. When these feelings become too strong they can stop us from doing the things we want to.
Symptoms
Feeling worried all the time
Tiredness
Irritability
Unable to sleep
Difficulty concentrating
Racing heartbeat
Sweating
Muscle tension and pains
Shaking
Breathing heavily
Feeling dizzy or faint
Indigestion or diarrhoea
If you are anxious already, the physical symptoms can make you worry they are signs of a serious illness. This can make you even more anxious. Anxiety and panic are often accompanied by feelings of depression, losing your appetite, or seeing the future as bleak and hopeless.
Treatments
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Antidepressants can help but often take two to four weeks to work and may have side effects.
Relaxation exercises, laughter and all forms of meditation are helpful in reducing stress. By focusing on positive issues and removing all negative thoughts from your mind for a fixed period, you will soon see a big difference
Self help tools can enable you to continue to function more effectively and confidently. For example, teach yourself books and DVDs.
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