Work Life Balance
Work, life, kids and commitments - it's tough to juggle it all, leaving many of us feeling we haven't got the right work/life balance. Perhaps you're not getting enough time with your kids; you haven't even got the time to listen to your favourite tunes; or you want a new challenge in your life. You don't need to go the whole hog and jack in your job, although after thinking about it, you might decide to!
A few small changes can lead to big differences, banishing that fed up feeling and helping you to feel fulfilled.
The term work/life balance was first coined in the 1980s when people began to recognise that while work is an important part of life, it shouldn't dominate people's family and personal life, and that a happy worker is a productive worker.
The rising cost of living and an increasingly consumer society means that people are more driven to earn.
Supporting a family is more costly than ever with children becoming major consumers.
We work longer hours. UK workers work the longest hours in Europe, employers often insist their staff opt out of the Working Time Directive to work more than 48 hours a week and many companies have a culture of overtime.
Working patterns have changed as service industries have moved towards 24-hour services.
People travel further to get to work, and journey times have increased significantly.
More mothers go back to work and over two thirds of families now have both parents working outside the home which puts a strain on managing childcare.
This all combines to make many of us feel that our leisure time and interests have become a low priority. However, it is possible to change things and to take control back to get the right work life balance.
Strategies
Want to improve your work life balance?
Then consider these simple tips:
Remain confident in your abilities and your worth and realise that you have the power to change how you feel about your life.
Get away
Get qualified Get a new hobby
Change your job or your life
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy and counselling are working relationships in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Friday, 30 July 2010
Benefits of Counselling and Psychotherapy
What benefits can you expect?
It can offer a supportive and caring relationship in which you can explore any issues at your own pace
It can help you see difficulties more objectively
It can build your self esteem
It can be a growing process whereby unwanted feelings can be changed
It can promote a better quality of life and health
You are accepted for who you are
Give you a greater sense of well being
Develop your capacity to make better choices
Increased personal success and contentment
It can offer a supportive and caring relationship in which you can explore any issues at your own pace
It can help you see difficulties more objectively
It can build your self esteem
It can be a growing process whereby unwanted feelings can be changed
It can promote a better quality of life and health
You are accepted for who you are
Give you a greater sense of well being
Develop your capacity to make better choices
Increased personal success and contentment
Being an only child
Being an only Child
Only children are often stigmatized. When asked to describe personality characteristics of an only child, many people will respond negatively, indicating the presupposition that only children are spoiled brats. Because only children lack siblings, they lose the immediate availability of others near their own age with whom to interact socially. In order to develop normal social skills, only children must be exposed to other children of the same age through other means. For example, play groups can be valuable for the learning of social skills. However, only children must work to win friends because they have no guaranteed familial playmates.
As children, most "onlies" wanted more children to play with and were fascinated by larger families. Very few rebelled in their teenage years.
The intensity of the child/parent relationship, its potential invasiveness and lack of privacy has often led to feelings being locked inside.
As adults, many have difficulty now expressing deep feelings in close relationships. Despite the independent image, they are still emotionally dependent on parents, or their memory.
Treatments
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may be an only child themselves or know someone else who is and has similar difficulties.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Self help tools can enable you to continue to function more effectively and confidently. For example, teach yourself books and DVDs. (see http://www.beinganonly.com/beinganonly)
Only children are often stigmatized. When asked to describe personality characteristics of an only child, many people will respond negatively, indicating the presupposition that only children are spoiled brats. Because only children lack siblings, they lose the immediate availability of others near their own age with whom to interact socially. In order to develop normal social skills, only children must be exposed to other children of the same age through other means. For example, play groups can be valuable for the learning of social skills. However, only children must work to win friends because they have no guaranteed familial playmates.
As children, most "onlies" wanted more children to play with and were fascinated by larger families. Very few rebelled in their teenage years.
The intensity of the child/parent relationship, its potential invasiveness and lack of privacy has often led to feelings being locked inside.
As adults, many have difficulty now expressing deep feelings in close relationships. Despite the independent image, they are still emotionally dependent on parents, or their memory.
Treatments
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may be an only child themselves or know someone else who is and has similar difficulties.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Self help tools can enable you to continue to function more effectively and confidently. For example, teach yourself books and DVDs. (see http://www.beinganonly.com/beinganonly)
Suicide
Suicide
Suicide is the term used for the deliberate self-destruction by a living being, resulting in their own death. The factors that lead someone to take their own life are complex. There is rarely one single trigger, although there may be an important 'last straw'.
Suicide actions are typically characterised as being made out of despair, or attributed to some underlying mental disorder which includes depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, alcoholism and drug abuse. The final straw may be the end of an important relationship, having to face up to debt or a court case, or losing ones home, or simply an event that stirs the emotions.
Suicidal ideation is a common medical term for thoughts about suicide, which may be as detailed as a formulated plan, without the suicidal act itself. Although most people who undergo suicidal ideation do not commit suicide, some go on to make suicide attempts. The range of suicidal ideation varies greatly from fleeting to detailed planning, role playing and unsuccessful attempts, which may be deliberately constructed to fail or be discovered, or may be fully intended to succeed.
Treatments
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. By undertaking counselling, suicidal clients often discover in their states of despair that it is their actual feelings not themselves that they wish to kill. Psychotherapy and counselling are working relationships in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Samaritans provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which could lead to suicide. (http://www.samaritans.org)
Antidepressants can help but often take two to four weeks to work and may have side effects.
Relaxation exercises, laughter and all forms of meditation are helpful in reducing stress. By focusing on positive issues and removing all negative thoughts from your mind for a fixed period, you will soon see a big difference.
Suicide is the term used for the deliberate self-destruction by a living being, resulting in their own death. The factors that lead someone to take their own life are complex. There is rarely one single trigger, although there may be an important 'last straw'.
Suicide actions are typically characterised as being made out of despair, or attributed to some underlying mental disorder which includes depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, alcoholism and drug abuse. The final straw may be the end of an important relationship, having to face up to debt or a court case, or losing ones home, or simply an event that stirs the emotions.
Suicidal ideation is a common medical term for thoughts about suicide, which may be as detailed as a formulated plan, without the suicidal act itself. Although most people who undergo suicidal ideation do not commit suicide, some go on to make suicide attempts. The range of suicidal ideation varies greatly from fleeting to detailed planning, role playing and unsuccessful attempts, which may be deliberately constructed to fail or be discovered, or may be fully intended to succeed.
Treatments
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. By undertaking counselling, suicidal clients often discover in their states of despair that it is their actual feelings not themselves that they wish to kill. Psychotherapy and counselling are working relationships in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Samaritans provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which could lead to suicide. (http://www.samaritans.org)
Antidepressants can help but often take two to four weeks to work and may have side effects.
Relaxation exercises, laughter and all forms of meditation are helpful in reducing stress. By focusing on positive issues and removing all negative thoughts from your mind for a fixed period, you will soon see a big difference.
Bullying
Bullying
Bullying is a form of abuse. It comprises repeated acts over time that involves a real or perceived imbalance of power with the more powerful individual or group abusing those who are less powerful. The power imbalance may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target.
Bullying occurs when a person or group is able to overpower a victim, causing pain and distress. It is not restricted to the playground, and operates at all levels of society and within all age groups. It is endemic in many workplaces and families. Within families, where bullying often originates, it is known as Domestic Violence.
It is estimated that half the population were bullied as children. Many adults report that childhood bullying has blighted their later lives; jobs, relationships and mental health can all suffer.
Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse - emotional, verbal and physical. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as psychological manipulation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways. Bullying in school and the workplace is also referred to as peer abuse.
Treatments
The ability to feel assertive, rather than passive or aggressive, is a way to overcome bullying, but this may be difficult. If you grew up in a family of bullies and victims it is easy to adopt one of these roles, or move between the two. Acknowledging the problem and being able to talk about it, is often the first step to ending any collusion.
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. A trained psychotherapist/counsellor may help a victim or bully to consider healthier ways of relating and to look at issues of anger and passivity. Issues of low self-esteem, trust and confidence can also be addressed. Relationship Counselling may be useful to establish more positive patterns of thinking and to examine some unhealthy beliefs.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Bullying is a form of abuse. It comprises repeated acts over time that involves a real or perceived imbalance of power with the more powerful individual or group abusing those who are less powerful. The power imbalance may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target.
Bullying occurs when a person or group is able to overpower a victim, causing pain and distress. It is not restricted to the playground, and operates at all levels of society and within all age groups. It is endemic in many workplaces and families. Within families, where bullying often originates, it is known as Domestic Violence.
It is estimated that half the population were bullied as children. Many adults report that childhood bullying has blighted their later lives; jobs, relationships and mental health can all suffer.
Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse - emotional, verbal and physical. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as psychological manipulation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways. Bullying in school and the workplace is also referred to as peer abuse.
Treatments
The ability to feel assertive, rather than passive or aggressive, is a way to overcome bullying, but this may be difficult. If you grew up in a family of bullies and victims it is easy to adopt one of these roles, or move between the two. Acknowledging the problem and being able to talk about it, is often the first step to ending any collusion.
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. A trained psychotherapist/counsellor may help a victim or bully to consider healthier ways of relating and to look at issues of anger and passivity. Issues of low self-esteem, trust and confidence can also be addressed. Relationship Counselling may be useful to establish more positive patterns of thinking and to examine some unhealthy beliefs.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Stress
Stress
Everyone needs a certain amount of stress to live well. It's what gets you out of bed in the morning and gives you the vitality and zest to do all sorts of things, such as sport and presentations. Stress becomes a problem - 'distress' - when there's too much or too little. A lack of stress means your body is understimulated, leaving you feeling bored and isolated. In an effort to find stimulation, many people do things that are harmful to themselves (such as taking drugs) or society (for instance, committing a crime).
Too much stress, on the other hand, can result in a range of health problems including headaches, stomach upsets, high blood pressure and even stroke or heart disease. It can also cause feelings of distrust, anger, anxiety and fear, which in turn can destroy relationships at home and at work.
People often feel over-stressed as a result of some event or trigger. This doesn't have to be negative (such as the death of a loved one, redundancy or divorce); it can also be seemingly positive (a new partner, new job or going on holiday). Such feelings can also be acute (as the result of a death or loss of a job) or chronic (coping with long-term unemployment or being in a bad relationship).
Strategies
I
n order to cope with their stress, many people look to things that are not only ineffective but also unhealthy.
Negative stress-management techniques include:
Drinking alcohol
Denying the problem
Taking drugs
Overeating
Smoking cigarettes
Instead of these harmful techniques, why not try one of the following:
Take a nap - 30 to 40 minutes' downtime will recharge your batteries.
Get a massage - visit a professional massage therapist or ask a friend or partner.
Express yourself artistically - divert your energies into something creative, such as acting, playing an instrument, writing poetry or singing.
Have a laugh - not only will it make you feel better, it will make you look better too.
Be gentle to yourself - we talk to ourselves all the time, even though we're not aware of it. This 'self-talk' determines our attitudes and self-image, so try to change both with a bit of positive chatter.
Treatments
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Antidepressants can help but often take two to four weeks to work and may have side effects.
Relaxation exercises, laughter and all forms of meditation are helpful in reducing stress. By focusing on positive issues and removing all negative thoughts from your mind for a fixed period, you will soon see a big difference
Self help tools can enable you to continue to function more effectively and confidently. For example, teach yourself books and DVDs.
Everyone needs a certain amount of stress to live well. It's what gets you out of bed in the morning and gives you the vitality and zest to do all sorts of things, such as sport and presentations. Stress becomes a problem - 'distress' - when there's too much or too little. A lack of stress means your body is understimulated, leaving you feeling bored and isolated. In an effort to find stimulation, many people do things that are harmful to themselves (such as taking drugs) or society (for instance, committing a crime).
Too much stress, on the other hand, can result in a range of health problems including headaches, stomach upsets, high blood pressure and even stroke or heart disease. It can also cause feelings of distrust, anger, anxiety and fear, which in turn can destroy relationships at home and at work.
People often feel over-stressed as a result of some event or trigger. This doesn't have to be negative (such as the death of a loved one, redundancy or divorce); it can also be seemingly positive (a new partner, new job or going on holiday). Such feelings can also be acute (as the result of a death or loss of a job) or chronic (coping with long-term unemployment or being in a bad relationship).
Strategies
I
n order to cope with their stress, many people look to things that are not only ineffective but also unhealthy.
Negative stress-management techniques include:
Drinking alcohol
Denying the problem
Taking drugs
Overeating
Smoking cigarettes
Instead of these harmful techniques, why not try one of the following:
Take a nap - 30 to 40 minutes' downtime will recharge your batteries.
Get a massage - visit a professional massage therapist or ask a friend or partner.
Express yourself artistically - divert your energies into something creative, such as acting, playing an instrument, writing poetry or singing.
Have a laugh - not only will it make you feel better, it will make you look better too.
Be gentle to yourself - we talk to ourselves all the time, even though we're not aware of it. This 'self-talk' determines our attitudes and self-image, so try to change both with a bit of positive chatter.
Treatments
You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. Groups often focus on themes such as anxiety, panic, relationship and employment difficulties.
Antidepressants can help but often take two to four weeks to work and may have side effects.
Relaxation exercises, laughter and all forms of meditation are helpful in reducing stress. By focusing on positive issues and removing all negative thoughts from your mind for a fixed period, you will soon see a big difference
Self help tools can enable you to continue to function more effectively and confidently. For example, teach yourself books and DVDs.
Bereavement
For many people, bereavement is a journey during which they'll experience a variety of changing emotions, such as intense sadness, guilt, anger and depression.
Each person’s experience is unique, for some, the strength of these emotions and the speed at which they change can make them feel helpless and confused. If the bereavement is very recent, a person can feel incapable of any decision making. Other people find that concentrating on arrangements for a funeral or memorial service helps them to delay this.
While these feelings can be frightening and overwhelming, they are normal reactions to loss. Accepting them as part of the grieving process and allowing yourself to feel what you feel is necessary for healing.
Once this intense phase has passed, there may still be a fair way to go on the journey. Again, this will happen in different ways at different times for different people.
It's not unusual to feel aimless and unable to eat concentrate or sleep and guilty about things other than actions taken or not taken by the survivor at the time of the death.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve — but there are healthy ways to cope with the pain.
Though often not easy, the most important thing in this period is to have someone you can talk to about these emotions and experiences, since keeping things to yourself will often prolong the pain. Knowing that the intense pain passes over time often helps too.
Treatments
Now is the time to lean on the people who care about you, even if you take pride in being strong and self-sufficient. You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist specializing in bereavement outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Grief can feel very lonely so some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. You can find bereavement support groups by contacting local counselors and psychotherapists, hospitals and hospices.
For many people, bereavement is a journey during which they'll experience a variety of changing emotions, such as intense sadness, guilt, anger and depression.
Each person’s experience is unique, for some, the strength of these emotions and the speed at which they change can make them feel helpless and confused. If the bereavement is very recent, a person can feel incapable of any decision making. Other people find that concentrating on arrangements for a funeral or memorial service helps them to delay this.
While these feelings can be frightening and overwhelming, they are normal reactions to loss. Accepting them as part of the grieving process and allowing yourself to feel what you feel is necessary for healing.
Once this intense phase has passed, there may still be a fair way to go on the journey. Again, this will happen in different ways at different times for different people.
It's not unusual to feel aimless and unable to eat concentrate or sleep and guilty about things other than actions taken or not taken by the survivor at the time of the death.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve — but there are healthy ways to cope with the pain.
Though often not easy, the most important thing in this period is to have someone you can talk to about these emotions and experiences, since keeping things to yourself will often prolong the pain. Knowing that the intense pain passes over time often helps too.
Treatments
Now is the time to lean on the people who care about you, even if you take pride in being strong and self-sufficient. You may want to firstly speak to a friend or relative you trust and respect, and who is a good listener. They may have had the same problem themselves, or know someone else who has.
You may benefit from talking to a UKCP accredited psychotherapist specializing in bereavement outside your usual circle of friends and family. Psychotherapy is a working relationship in which you are helped to explore and manage what is happening in your life. Key aims are to help you understand and control your anxieties and to find better ways of dealing with life’s continuing challenges. Examples include: integrative and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Grief can feel very lonely so some people find it easier to join a group with others who have similar problems. This means you gain valuable experience and feedback in a supportive confidential environment. You can find bereavement support groups by contacting local counselors and psychotherapists, hospitals and hospices.
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